In 1001 Reasons Why I Can’t Pay You Today! Darcy Derouin uses deliberate exaggeration and absurdity to compile a humorous list of reasons and excuses used to defer payment.
Preface by author, Darcy Derouin:
1001 Reasons Why I Can’t Pay You Today! is probably 30 plus years in the making. I used to own and operate a RENT TO OWN waterbed store, way back when they were very popular. I had to deal with all kinds of people. I trusted people to make their payments on time. I was mister big shot, playing banker, owner, operator, manufacturer, supplied the installation, and I even had my own desk. After a while, I heard so, so, many reasons, excuses, deception, half truths and complete bullshit and lies why people couldn’t make their payments. So, I started to write them down. That is how 1001 Reasons Why I Can’t Pay You Today! came to be. The “1000 reasons” are deliberately exaggerated and absurd, making them humorous and memorable.
Excerpt from 1001 Reasons Why I Can’t Pay You Today!:
139. We had to have a couple loads of gravel delivered out to our cottage as the driveway was all mud, and we wouldn’t have been able to spend a single weekend out there. It leaves us a little short for a few weeks, but don’t worry, I’ll be in touch.
140. The inspector from the city was just here, and told me that I have built my fence too far back, and I’m on their property. I have no choice but to move it or receive a large fine. So, it looks like I’m going to be busy all day today and tomorrow.
141. I had to hire a fella to rototill my garden this year.
142. The power just went off in my house, so I better not leave until it comes back on, just in case I have to do something with all the food.
143. We had a grease fire in our kitchen, boy, was that scary…and it sure left a mess. We are busy cleaning up. I’ll have to drop by tomorrow.